Katarína Varsiková

Learning Anger. Untold Stories.

Untold stories are the strongest. Narrate.

Het Diner.

The article is Dutch, the noun feels English, and it is the name of a novel by Herman Koch. It is set in a restaurant where four people meet for dinner. They are close to one another, they are two brothers, and their wives. One man is a well-known politician who is observed by his younger brother, the narrator. What comes out between the words are silences. Untold stories. Closeness without intimacy. Seeing the nakedness and vulnerability of another, not knowing what to do about it.

How well I know this vibe and how well I know I cannot control the feelings and attitudes of others.

And still, that is what I often attempt to do.

The novel is tense and mysterious, obviously, a masterpiece recognized. It means we are many who are very sensitive to catching this vibe.

The whole trick of an expansion and healing is, though, to move from observing out there into observing in here. No by-passing, no avoiding. Instead of labelling good/bad, going into authenticity.

Using yoga tools for by-passing is very tempting. Confronted with tensions and shadows of people around, I use breath, grounding and releasing the dense energy. I see so clearly the battles of others, it is almost painful. Seeing your stress, buddy, I breathe out, it is not mine, not taking it, not keeping it, not buying it.

The tricky part is that it is making me secretly superior, plus, I am suffering without noticing it. Because, actually, others projecting their frustrations on me do affect my inner state. My inner child is triggered, I feel hopeless.

Learning to express feelings from the safe point of awareness and presence is a new experience.

Back to the Het Dinner novel. It takes place in 2009, the omnipresence of mobile devices is on the verge. The narrator is in the restaurant with the mobile phone of his 15 year-old son in the pocket that is burning a hole into his mind. He should not peer into his son´s phone. He should have resisted to take it in the first place. (Have not finished reading yet, so no further spoiler). Curious.

An exhibition titled Untold Stories is on in Brussels. A photographer who captures vulnerability, nakedness and compassion and he himself curated the exhibition shortly before he died. Shared sensitivity:


O autorke Všetky Články

Katarina Varsikova

Príbehy. Ľudia. Joga. Prítomná chvíľa a vedomie, že všetko sa neustále mení.